So today I finally called and set up our IVF consult. It was crazy again to hear that I was calling an infertility clinic. It is still hard to believe that we cannot achieve a pregnancy on our own. I feel normal, until friends talk about wanting another child, and I am snapped back into reality. Oh yeah, the baby thing, of course we want more children, it just isn't as simple for us to achieve. A baby for us is an immense amount of planning, not only during the pregnancy, but long before the pregnancy begins. It begins by setting up an initial consultation, followed by tests, drugs, shots, more drugs, and of course doctors looking at parts that you would rather not be showing to them every other day. At times I feel robbed of the excitement, fun and desire that comes with achieving a pregnancy on your own. Instead of getting baby fever and seeing what will happen in the next few months; I get baby fever and have to push it aside, knowing that only chance at another baby comes with a huge price tag, and that is before it is even in my uterus.
Do I want this baby? Yes, with all my heart. Do I want the next six months to a year trying for another pregnancy? No, not really, but I will do what I need to to hold another precious child to my heart, and know that he or she is mine.
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