Thursday, April 28, 2011

Myth: If you already have one child, you know you are fertile and will have no problems conceiving again

We are living proof that this is a myth. We got pregnant with our first son within two months of stopping birth control. We never thought becoming pregnant again would be a problem, even our regular OB/GYN didn't believe that we would have a problem. My favorite was him pointing to my child and saying, "Well we know that your husband works by the looks of your son, so let's get you ovulating." So a few cycles of clomid and OPK and no results left us confused, until my hubby saw a urologist. What the big surprise for us was the diagnosis...male factor obstructive azoospermia. How could we possibly have a child if my husband's sperm count is zero?!? We have some answers, but not all. His hernia repair surgeries damaged his vas deferens, but his surgeries were before we conceived our son (the last one being 4 months before conception). I guess our son was conceived with the last of the swimmers left in the tubes. So we had male factor secondary infertility.

Of course after we told people we couldn't have any more children on our own they would ask why we had to do IVF after TESA for a baby. "Couldn't you just shoot some sperm up in there and get pregnant?" First of all I guess I could with donor sperm, but we did not want that route yet, and TESA does not retrieve much sperm, IVF/ICSI was our only option to have a biological child.
Another comment I would get was, "It only takes one." Well if you know the facts under 20 million sperm is a low count, and last I checked 20 million is a whole lot more than one, and if people were having trouble getting pregnant with 20 million my chances were zero.

After all this explanation well meaning people would say, "Since you already have a child, it will be easy for your body to get pregnant with the IVF, you will only have to do it once and you will get triplets." In reality it took three times. One completely failed cycle, one canceled cycle and one frozen cycle to get one child. Even though my body had been pregnant, it didn't mean that I would automatically get pregnant with help. Many factors go into getting pregnant, and it doesn't always work, even if your body has had a successful pregnancy.

For more information about infertility go to:

a whole lot of craziness

So...we are officially done with school. Hubby took his last final this morning, graduation on Saturday and moving day Thursday, mind you clear across the country (0nly 1838 miles to be exact!) It is crazy, even more crazy when you consider we have 10 people (including us) staying in our little 2 bedroom apartment with 1 1/2 baths for the celebration.

We bought our trailer and we have sifted through the junk. I have taken carloads to the local charity organization and trash bags to the dumpster. Who knew that we had that much junk? It feels so good to get rid of so much stuff. I hope I don't cry when we get settled and I realize that my stuff is in someone's house besides my own. I am almost sure I won't, but with all the stress I just might :)

On another note, I have been having major insurance issues. I am trying to buy reasonable insurance until my husband secures a job and it is insane. I thought I found some insurance that was reasonable, only to find out they did not carry the insurance in our new location. So I found insurance in our new location signed up only to find out that I cannot be on it until we actually are residents of the state. I found something else that had maternity insurance (which is something I really want, in preparation for a frozen cycle sometime soon) only to find out it had a combined deductible of $15,000.00 for maternity, that is besides the $10,000.00 deductible for regular stuff. So, my question is why insurance if we have to pay everything out of pocket anyway?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

#10 Limit Yourself to Thinking About One subject as You Lie Down to Sleep

Really?!? Is that possible? My mind is a 10 track race course that has at least 20 things whizzing by on it during any one part of the day. In fact when I get a moment alone...oh wait do I ever get a moment alone...I am solving the world's problems including my own. It usually happens when I am getting ready in the morning...I get out of the shower and tell my husband about the million and one plans I have for the day.

So does anyone else feel this way, or is it only me? Please tell me I am not the only one that thinks way too much.

Luckily at night I can wind down and think about only three or four things. I don't have a problem sleeping, yet...but do not want to develop a problem with sleeping, especially because my mind is going. I have had that happen a few times, and it is not fun.

Any ideas on how to wind down, not think about a zillion things at once, fall asleep fast, without medication? I am sure I am not the only one who would be interested in some sage wisdom.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


About a year ago my hubby and I walked through a model know the perfect home with everything staged to perfection. We looked at each other and said, "Maybe we should start all over with new stuff!" Then reality hit, we are poor graduate students, how could we ever start over...
But, we have decided to do just that! Yikes!?! We are moving across the country and when we added up all the costs of the rental truck, the tow dolly for our car, and the gas, it would cost nearly $4000.00. Wowsers!?! That is a lot of money to move mostly hand-me-down furniture and odds and ends. So I started thinking could we buy a trailer and tow it for a better cost. Turns out we the added bonus is that we can sell the trailer once we settle and buy the stuff we had to leave behind.
So...we are in the process of the biggest dejunking project ever. Only the most loved and necessary items will piano, our bed, the bunk beds, clothes, computer, scrapbooks, photos, etc. I started today, well really I started several months ago, with the totally unnecessary items, but I really started today. I got rid of four giant boxes from my kitchen...mostly extra dishes, a basket, coffee mugs (we don't even drink coffee) a rug, a step stool, mixing bowls (why did we have 14?) and some other junk.
The best thing, I found a place that I can donate it to that gives it to families that are displaced from their home for one reason or another. They do not sell it, trade it or yard sale it away, they give it to those that don't have anything.
Here's to starting over.

Monday, April 4, 2011

#9 Remember Where You Came From

I love my heritage. I can't imagine coming from more amazing people. I count myself fortunate that I had close relationships with my grandparents even though I come from a large family. I always felt that I was something special to them. They lived astounding lives. So in honor of them I will share a few of my memories of them.

My paternal grandmother was an especially wonderful story teller. She told me how it was like to live before electricity came to her town, and how she played the piano at a dance hall for a silver dollar a night. She could make a piano dance. She knew every ragtime, boogie woogie, hymn and classical piece possibly written for piano. She would wake at the crack of dawn everyday to practice the piano, and we never left her house without her sitting down to play something. Her husband, my grandfather, was equally amazing. His sense of humor was infectious to everyone including my grandma, who was often the brunt of the joke.

I never met my maternal grandma. She left this world at the young age of 43 when my mom was just entering her teenage years. I am grateful for the stories and the photos that have been passed on to me, but more grateful that I met her mother when I was eight years old. She lived several states away, and we planned a long awaited trip to visit her on her farm. Amazingly she did not enjoy a single modern luxury besides electricity. No running water, no flushing toilet, not even a machine washer or dryer. This baffled my young mind having never used an outhouse except in the case of camping. Yet she was energetic, moving about her mundane chores with satisfaction. She said once that it was a blessing to be poor in the country, and that she always felt sorry for the poor that lived in the city with only dirty sidewalks and streets to look at.

My maternal grandpa is the only one of my grandparents still alive, and he is almost 90. At 89 he is still active, energetic, and lucid. I was able to talk with him the other day and he reminded me that the most important things in life are free, yet we need to work the hardest at those things. Things such as family, character, and love. He is very strong in his faith, and reminds me to be strong in mine.

As I look at my heritage I feel as though I may be one of the luckiest people in the world. Thank you to all my grandparents for wise, kind, prudent lives; lives that I hope I can emulate.